common human stuff (content warning; draft)

General content warning! Something for everybody! This isn’t like my usual posts, and some people will find this triggering, hilarious, morbid, cathartic, all of the above…

• You don’t want to do anything at all.
• Everything is pointless or meaningless.
• It’s impossible for you to feel connection, belonging, intimacy, love.
• You’re worried that nothing matters or you can’t find motivation because of the inevitable heat death of the universe, or the destruction of the planet, or the end of humanity from unfriendly AI or other reasons.
• You’re scared all the time; It’s a dog-eat-dog universe/world and everything’s trying to kill you.
• You don’t care about women at all or you hate women.
• You don’t care at all about men at all or hate men.
• You want the world to burn.
• You want other people to hurt.
• You’re fundamentally bad.
• You’re going to die so nothing matters.
• You have urges that involve violence and murder.
• You crave intimacy with your gender or the opposite gender or any gender or all genders or anyone and anything or just people but that is not easily afforded by current societal structures and norms.
• You have sex stuff that’s too harmful, too illegal, too immoral, too gross, to dangerous, too time consuming, too shameful, too embarrassing, too nonconsensual, too something–to do, to share, to be honest about, to find other people to do it with.
• You want to do something ambitious, big, beautiful, exciting, excellent, but X (and Y, Z, Q, R).
• You just want to impregnate women and you don’t care what happens next.
• The relationship and family structures you want are hard because dating pool, legal, financial, friendship, and family hurdles.
• You’re preoccupied that you might not be heterosexual.
• You’re preoccupied that you might be trans or nonbinary.
• You just want to be pregnant or a mother and you don’t really care about anything else.
• You’ve been ostracized or excommunicated and there’s no fixing it or changing what or who people think you are.
• You just want everything to end, to stop, to be over, to be nothing. You want to get off the ride.
• You did a bad thing and it’ll never be ok.
• A bad thing happened to you and it’ll never be ok.
• You don’t know what to do with your life.
• You’ve failed, missed the boat, missed the on-ramp before you’ve even begun.
• You’re watching other people succeed all around you while you fail and keep digging yourself or getting dug deeper.
• You very, very publicly fucked up or were wrong or made a fool of yourself in the crushingly cringiest of ways.
• You don’t care at all about other people, deep down. You’re indifferent.
• Nothing you actually want to do with your time makes any money.
• Deep down you believe you are worthless or bad and that nothing you do will fix this or make up for it.
• You’re afraid you’re going to end up homeless (and alone).
• You’re afraid you’re going to be a burden. You’re afraid you already are a burden.
• No one else has your interests. You’re lonely.
• Your interests are too expensive, too time consuming for anything else.
• The world is too intense, too fast, too loud, too vivid, too exhausting.
• You can’t make sense of or understand other people in real time. It’s very hard to productively or fun-ly or successfully or friendly-ly interact with other people. It’s exhausting.
• You’d rather just be alone, but you’re lonely.
• You have grandiose or megalomaniacal desires or plans, and you’re afraid they’re crazy, and you can’t share them with people, and underneath them is fear of inevitable failure, feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, and self-loathing.
• You’re exhausted all the time, tired, sluggish, can’t think, low energy.
• You’re ugly, fat, disfigured, disgusting, too ugly, too weird, too gross (for money, friendship, companionship, sex).
• You secretly hate and despise everyone, and you despise yourself for that.
• You think everyone hates you and/or will abandon you or laugh at you.
• You’re barely hanging on.
• You’re an imposter.
• You want to kill yourself but you can’t and won’t and so you’re completely trapped.
• You want to love.
• There’s things about you that people can never know, that people will never know, and so you’ll never be known.
• You’re completely trapped in an impossible life situation re duties, obligations, responsibilities, finances, kids.
• You’re running out of money.
• You want to experience that mutual flash of recognition.
• You can’t say the things you want to people you care about.
• You wish you could just blow up at people.
• You want to something big and good if you could only just…
• Society is killing you and preventing you from getting what you want, and you’re so angry.
• You want to be complemented and complimented.
• You have to be careful not to do something impulsive and stupid, which would ruin your life, all the time, in every situation and interaction, and it’s exhausting. e
• You’re only with the person you’re with for money, food, shelter.
• You’re fascinated by or partake in sex work as a provider or client and you’re ashamed or exhausted.
• You want to be known.
• You’re scared that you’re too stupid or that your mind is just inadequate or can’t do the things it would need to for you to be happy.
• You want to know and be known by people who are like you.
• You’ll never find anyone that’s good enough for you, and that’s terrifying.
• You just want to be left alone (to think, create, play, socialize, sleep), but the world won’t let you, won’t leave you alone.
• You’re filled with sadness or hatred or jealousy or schadenfreude or spite or rage.
• You’ll never, ever be ok.
• You want to be safe.
• You want people to know you care.
• You want to be a person or in a situation where you can be [impeccably] kind.