some enlightenment hot takes: I just had another “big” no-self thing (“no self, no people, no things”). “Big” in quotes because it was a soft thing that had such a similar flavor to a bunch of stuff in that 2000 hours post, which updates my degree of belief that those were “real,” too. but also that there’s was plenty more that took another 6000+ hours
a few things became seemingly apparent over the next couple hours:
- suffering has gone down, so it does seem like there’s some deep and interesting relationship to self and suffering. it’s not so much, it seems, that suffering is less because there’s no one to suffer, but more like there’s some deep relationship between self-ing and the use of suffering as like a “terrible motivator to produce action.” And somehow seeing through the self is identical to some sort of “unification” that makes suffering less necessary. Like unification of spiritual essence is upstream of “wholehearted-heartfeltness” which somehow reduces self-ing and separately somehow reduces suffering as a strategy (because the self system wholeheartedly-heartfelt-ly “just does the right thing without it”).
- i can see why people make such a big deal of “enlightenment has nothing to do with morality.” as per usual, I don’t think that’s true. BUT, /this particular change/ changed nothing about morality/preference/behavior–like not even an iota, which is pretty interesting in and of itself. like there /does/ seem to be something interestingly orthogonal to belief/behavior/preference/morality in whatever changed. to the degree anyone, including myself, is a grumpy, sociopathic dickhead before this thing, it seems they’re exactly as much of a grumpy, sociopathic dick afterwards. BUT-BUT, I still think /meditation/, properly conceived and executed has a direct fuck-ton to do with belief/behavior/preference/morality, just not this particular change.
- and re-no self, there is some deep realization thingy going on, but as for the experience, modulo the insight, it’s more like “unreflective flow,” like, hi, I have an identity, I am me, I am typing these words. also, there’s less going on in “inner space.”
- ah, and, “this just incidentally happened” as a result of executing lightly held instructions with flexibility and precision and patience. I still think the point is “better,” not any particular thing:
- re “no self, no people, no things”–like, ok. there’s a deep epistemics/metaphysics/brain thing here, that’s apparently really consistently replicable across people. it’s really interesting and important, whatever’s going on, here. also, entangled with that, science and neurons and forces and fields, and the better versions of those as science continues to advance. also love, people, etc.
- anyway, curious what’s next. again, these are hot takes